“The adjustments have made an ENORMOUS impact on my wellbeing”

“I make no secret of the fact that I experience mental health difficulties – it’s not something I am ashamed of.

I don’t love living with mental illness, but neither do I feel that it’s ruined my life or taken everything from me. It’s taken a very long time, but I am now proud of what I have overcome and what I have achieved despite my brain trying to scupper my plans!

I’m the Deputy Team Manager for the Work in Mind Employment Service in Hellingly. We are embedded in the NHS Health in Mind (Talking Therapies) Service.

I work closely with the Team Manager to support the smooth running of the Work in Mind Service. I am also responsible for designing and implementing processes and procedures followed by the team, as well supporting them with client issues, and holding my own small caseload.

I received my first psychiatric treatment at 19 years of age as I became unwell whilst studying for my degree. It had become impossible for me to function effectively on a day-to-day basis due to my deteriorating mental health. Since then, I have experienced regular bouts of moderate to severe depression and anxiety and have received numerous treatments for anxiety and OCD.

I was always an anxious child, and throughout my teenage years I found myself worrying excessively about things over which I had no control. In particular, I worried about things that I would see on the news, convinced that harm would come to me or my family. This led to problems with sleep from a very young age, all-consuming worry, and difficulties in coping with situations that others found easy.

I literally overthink Every. Single. Thing, which can be entirely exhausting. I obsess over minor details and will immediately imagine everything that could possibly go wrong before I have even got out of bed or left the house, sometimes for hours, days or weeks before the planned event.

On days when I am really struggling, even a simple thing such as going to do the weekly shop will feel like an impossible task due to the organisation and planning that go into making it a success. Going to a new venue or an event can give me sleepless nights for weeks!

Having spent nearly 20 years working in employment support, I am used to coaching people to focus on the positive and face their fears, and yet for me this can feel daunting or even impossible.

When I am ‘unwell’ which is my personal code for ‘no longer coping as I would like’, I can experience disordered thinking. Normally I can accept unwanted, intrusive thoughts, rationalise them and carry on with my daily activities, but when I am unwell this becomes much more challenging.

Often, when I have felt ‘unwell’, I have turned my attention towards work as a way to try and regain control, losing myself in being busy and occupied rather than ruminating, creating extra work for myself to have something to focus on. This has provided short-term relief but the increased pressure has then led to exhaustion or burn-out and periods of time away from work.

Around five years into my employment with Southdown, I experienced a couple of lengthy periods away from work due to mental ill health. In addition to causing additional stress and pressure to my colleagues, I felt that I was letting clients down, and that wasn’t something that I could tolerate. At this point I realised that I could no longer sustain my role, and something needed to change.

Luckily, I was working with an incredibly supportive manager and she supported me to look at ways that we could make adjustments to allow me to stay, and also to manage my symptoms more effectively. I will always appreciate her honest and candid approach, and some of the things that she said at the time keep me motivated and focused to this day.

Initially it was agreed that I would change my working hours as a reasonable adjustment, and for a trial period of three months. In consultation with my manager, we agreed that working 30 hours, and having a day off in the middle of the week would be the best way to support my wellbeing, as it would mean a recuperation day when I needed it.

We extended this for a further three months, after which I was asked to make a decision on whether to make this a permanent change. Despite the initial worries around the drop in salary, I felt that the part-time hours had helped immeasurably and I felt far more able to cope.

In addition to the above, and as a less formal agreement, some flexibility was also introduced, allowing me to work a little later when I felt I had the energy, to perhaps allow me a late start on a bad day should I need it.  We also drew up a WAP (Wellness Action Plan) between us so that I could start to identify my triggers and look for creative solutions.

The adjustments have made an ENORMOUS impact on my wellbeing. I rarely take time away from work due to my mental health. Despite facing significant difficulties following the Covid lockdowns, I was able to carry on working, thanks to the support of my current manager, which allowed me time to access CBT & Exposure Response Therapy to overcome a particularly distressing OCD episode.

I genuinely wouldn’t still be in my job had the adjustments not been put in place. I consider myself incredibly lucky. I feel very supported, and most importantly, respected, by my manager and by the wider team. I genuinely hope that everyone working within Southdown has access to such responsive, proactive, and creative managers.

New ways of working since Covid-19 have afforded me more time at home, and a far better work-life balance. This has meant being able to finally adopt a much longed-for dog, and best friend, Albie. Albie has been a real tonic, and absolutely refuses to let me overwork as he is always ready for a walk, a game, or a cuddle. He also forces me to take a lunch break, which is something that I never used to do.

If you are living with a disability and aren’t sure whether to ask for reasonable adjustments, I’d say ‘just start the conversation’. Talking about mental health can be really tough, but if you can start to think about solutions, and ways of working that will be helpful to you, then that’s a really good start. Try different things to see if they will work for you and be prepared to review things from time to time with your manager.

I am massively passionate about ensuring that people with mental health difficulties receive support and assistance to achieve whatever they want to – hence my choice of job role – and so I am happy to be an example of where this has worked in practice.”